“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” ~ Maya Angelou
If there is one massive life lesson I have learnt over the years, it is that I can not control or change anyone, anything, or any situation. And trying to do so only hurts me and no one else. Hence, I stopped trying to change or control what is outside of me.
The truth of the matter is, that everything outside of you is never ever going to be in your control. If the traffic is bad, it is bad. You have no choice but to wait for it start moving. No sense in getting angry or hyperventilating over a fact you cannot change. So instead of getting angry or upset, its best to accept this fact and do something to calm your mind in that moment. Whenever I’m stuck in traffic, I people watch, I nature watch. I look out of the window in awe and admire the many wonders that the Divine has created. That’s so much better than hyperventilating! Right?!
TRUTH->You cannot control or change other people — their behaviors, choices, or paths. But you can reclaim your power by gently shifting what you do have dominion over: your inner world and your responses.
Let’s explore what that looks like in practice:
- You can change the way you respond.
Instead of reacting from a place of anger or fear, you can pause, breathe deeply, and choose to respond with compassion or clarity. For example, when someone speaks harshly, you might say, “I hear your frustration, but I will not receive that energy.” - You can change the people you surround yourself with.
If your circle drains you, belittles your dreams, or keeps you in a cycle of chaos, it is not unloving to walk away — it is sacred self-respect. Seek those who inspire your healing and honor your light. - You can change the expectations you place on others.
Releasing unrealistic or unspoken expectations creates space for authentic connection. Instead of wishing someone would act differently, try asking yourself: Can I accept them as they are, or is this relationship misaligned with my values? - You can change what you give power to.
The stories you tell yourself — “I’m not good enough,” “They always treat me this way” — can hold you hostage. Choose instead to give power to thoughts that uplift and empower. You are the author of your mind. - You can change what you let go of.
Let go of resentment that poisons your peace. Let go of past hurts that weigh you down. Release the need to be understood by everyone. In letting go, you create space for something new to enter. - You can change the boundaries you set.
Boundaries are not walls, but bridges to healthier connections. Saying “no” to what depletes you is saying “yes” to your well-being. A soft heart can still hold firm lines. - You can change the way you choose yourself.
Every time you honor your needs, nourish your spirit, or walk away from what harms you, you affirm: I am worthy. Choose yourself — not from ego, but from a deep place of knowing you matter. - You can change what you allow into your life.
Protect your mind, your heart, your space. Be mindful of the media you consume, the words you speak, and the energy you absorb. Let in only what aligns with your truth. - You can change the way you focus on your own path.
It’s easy to compare or judge your journey against someone else’s. But your path is sacred. Walk it with presence, with patience, and with trust that you are exactly where you need to be. - You can change how you spend your energy.
Are you pouring your life force into drama, fear, and resistance? Or are you channeling it into creativity, healing, and love? Your energy is sacred currency. Spend it wisely. - You can change the effort you invest in your own growth.
Healing is not linear, but every moment you choose to reflect, to forgive, to grow — that is holy work. You become the medicine you once searched for. - You can change the way you protect your peace.
Your peace is not selfish. It is necessary. Safeguard it like a precious flame. Decline invitations to chaos. Create rituals of stillness. Let peace be your daily prayer.
🌸 Closing Reflection
True power lies not in controlling others, but in aligning with your higher self. The more you honor your own healing, the more light you bring into this world.✨
❤ If you’d like 1-on-1 counseling sessions and spiritual guidance with me, come on over here.
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